Sometime last year, I saw the Christian movie The Chosen. In many ways, the series gave visual perspective to some of Jesus’ teachings and helped me see what certain encounters might have been like for Him.

For example, Jesus taught:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. If anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also. And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two” (Matthew 5:38–41).

There is a particular scene in the movie that portrays this teaching vividly. Jesus and His disciples, travelling towards Bethany, encounter a group of Roman soldiers who compel them to carry their bags and equipment along the road. The disciples are visibly irritated, especially because the soldiers treat the situation as an opportunity to mock and humiliate them. They carry the loads because Roman authority requires them to do so; the first mile is an act of compulsion rather than willingness.

But when they reach the point beyond which the soldiers can no longer legally compel them to continue, Jesus does something unexpected: He keeps walking. He leads His disciples beyond what is required and carries the burden for an additional mile voluntarily. The soldiers, who had initially been amused by their humiliation, become puzzled by such an unusual response. What began as forced service becomes an act of service. The second mile confronts them with the character of a Man who willingly serves those who have just mistreated Him.

I believe one of the things increasingly becoming misplaced among Christians is virtue. And by virtue, I am not referring merely to moral uprightness in the conventional sense. I am speaking of the visible character of Christian love—hospitality, kindness, forbearance, forgiveness, empathy, respect, honour, patience, courtesy, self-restraint, consideration for others, and the many other ways the nature of Christ should find expression in our dealings with people.

Yet I do not believe the problem is always the absence of the life of God or the fruit of the Spirit. In many cases, some of these things stem from a lack of knowledge and desire to grow up spiritually. No matter how viable a seed is, without cultivation it will yield no fruit.

Peter writes:

“Giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue…” (2 Peter 1:5). Faith is not meant to remain an invisible conviction with no corresponding expression in character. What we believe must eventually affect how we behave.

And this introduces me to this new series: Christian Etiquette.

The Many Expressions of Divine Love

Christian etiquette, as I intend to use the phrase in this series, is not merely about polished manners, social sophistication, or knowing how to conduct oneself in public. It is about the outward expression of the inward nature of Christ.

At its core, Christian etiquette is love translated into conduct.

Love occupies a central place in the Christian faith. It is at the heart of the greatest commandments, the distinguishing mark of Christ’s disciples, and inseparable from the very nature of God revealed to humanity. Yet while love is frequently discussed, its practical expression in the life of a believer deserves much deeper attention.

In 1 John 4:8, Scripture declares, "He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love." This is more than a statement about God's ability to love. It reveals something about His very nature.

We sometimes joke about one of our colleagues by saying, “If composure were a person…” In a far greater and perfect sense, love is not merely something God does; God is love. Love finds its purest definition, expression and personification in Him. Consequently, to know God is to encounter love, and to grow in Him is to increasingly reflect the attributes of love.

This is where the Christian understanding of love goes beyond natural affection, emotional attachment, occasional acts of charity or philanthropy. The love of God is not only an emotion we experience or an instruction we must obey. At its very base, it is the divine nature imparted to us through the new birth.

Romans 5:5 tells us that "the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us." The believer, therefore, does not begin the Christian life with the responsibility of manufacturing divine love through sheer human effort. Rather, the love of God has already been poured into the heart by the Holy Spirit. Our responsibility is to yield to its operation, cultivate its expression, and allow it to increasingly govern our thoughts, character, emotions and relationships.

However, possessing the nature of love and expressing that nature consistently are not necessarily the same thing. A believer may genuinely have the love of God in the heart and yet struggle with impatience, selfishness, resentment, insensitivity or pride. The presence of divine life does not eliminate the need for spiritual growth and maturity. What has been deposited within must be developed until it becomes visible in our daily conduct.

This is why Scripture does not merely tell us that God is love; it also teaches us how love behaves.

In 1 Corinthians 13:4–7, the Apostle Paul describes love in practical terms. It suffers long and is kind. It does not envy, parade itself or become puffed up. It does not behave itself unseemly, seek its own or become easily provoked. It rejoices in truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things.

These are not abstract theological definitions; they reveal the character, disposition and conduct of a person whose life is governed by love. In other words, love has etiquette. Love has its way of influencing how we think about others, how we interpret their actions, how we respond to their weaknesses and how we behave when our own interests are challenged.

For instance, it is one thing to say that we love people; it is another to remain patient when their weaknesses inconvenience us. It is one thing to profess goodwill towards others; it is another to celebrate their progress without feeling threatened. It is one thing to admire the principle of forgiveness; it is another to release resentment when we have been genuinely hurt.

The true depth of love is often revealed not in ideal circumstances but in the ordinary, sometimes uncomfortable realities of human relationships.

Furthermore, the love character of the believer is not limited to how we treat people we naturally like or those who reciprocate our affection. Christ calls us to a love that transcends personal preference. Jesus commands, “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you…” (Matthew 5:44). This is a kind of love that cannot be adequately explained by natural affection. Natural affection tends to respond to attraction, familiarity, or reciprocity.  Divine love continues to act rightly even when no other factor is present (1 Corinthians 13:8).

This is what we saw illustrated in scenes from The Chosen. The first mile could be explained by obligation. The second mile revealed character.

There is, therefore, a need to examine the different expressions of this divine nature we have partaken of. What does it mean to be kind? What does it mean to forgive? How does love respond to offence, accommodate the weaknesses of others, show hospitality, exercise restraint, or give sacrificially? What inward dispositions must be developed for these expressions to become consistent features of our character?

These are not merely questions about good manners or good performance. They are questions about Christian etiquette.

In this series, we will explore the various expressions of the Christian love character, examining their biblical foundations, their practical implications and the inward transformation required for their genuine manifestation. The goal is not simply to learn how to behave more pleasantly but to understand how the nature of Christ is expressed through the believer's character.

Ultimately, Christian maturity is not measured merely by how much of the Word we know, how eloquently we speak, how powerfully we pray, or how effectively we serve. It is also revealed in how visibly the nature of Christ appears in the way we treat people.

As we grow in the knowledge of God, may our understanding of His love deepen, and may that love become increasingly evident in the way we live.

Continued…